One down...

Tomorrow McGee will be one year old. I can't fathom this, but here it is. The last year has flown by incredibly quickly! So, here are some of the biggest lessons I have learned during my first year as a mom:

*Being a mom is the best prep for Fear Factor. Ever. Those contestants ate live fish... big deal! Until you've had vomited breast milk in your mouth and down your shirt, don't talk to me about icky.

*Everything in this world is going to kill your child... according to most folk anyway. I have been warned of more dangers in the last twelve months than I can shake a Nerf-padded stick at!

*My mother is a saint. No matter how I may have felt about her mothering skills the day *before* I had my baby, I can tell you that *after* becoming a mother, I have a newfound respect for her and every choice she ever had to make. She's a saint, people.

*If you don't think your baby is the biggest/strongest/smartest/most coordinated infant ever made, those around you will think you're weird. Apparently, I'm supposed to have delusions of grandeur where my son is concerned, and when I say that he's "normal" or "average" it is assumed I am not a loving mother... guess what? He's fabulous (in a very normal sort of way!)

*Those 2-3 outfit changes a day I was told to expect? CRAZY TALK! I only swap out clothes if he gets poop on himself, vomits, and gets something sticky on his clothes. He's good in one outfit for a couple of days sometimes... because what my dad says is true: It really will dry and flake off... for the most part.

*There is nothing as scary in all the world as the sound of a baby struggling to breathe through heinous congestion.

*Nursing is the coolest thing ever for the lazy mom - instead of working oneself silly trying to pump milk, or make formula, I can just latch kiddo on and get back to sleep! No bottles to clean, no powder to spill, no temperature to consider... no muss, no fuss :)

*Everyone around me knows exactly how I ought be raising my child. Seriously, just ask them! They have everything figured out, from when to turn his car seat to what he should eat, to the lifestyle I should teach him, and everything in between.

*Babies are far less work and far more rewarding than a chihuahua in a purse.

*Children's TV shows are all evil, and will turn adult brains to mush. Your child doesn't really care when they're under a year old, so have whatever on in the background while they play... besides, why indoctrinate them with whatever values deemed necessary by The Wiggles, when all they need to know about being chaotic good they could learn from Malcolm Reynolds?!

*Play dates are not for kids. He doesn't need socialization... I do. Play dates keep the brains of stay-at-homes from atrophying.

Just a few lessons hard learned the last year :)