Save Your Pity

Sooooo.... one thing you should know about me is that I am severely ADD. It's bad, ya'll. One of the problems this poses is that I have a tendency to begin a great many things, but never finish them. For example, Blogger tells me I have 17 draft posts. That's right - 17 posts I sat down to write, and never finished. And I may never finish them. That's just me. But I will finish this one! Unless something distracts me.......... While I am capable of linear thought, I want to rant about Single Parent Pity. For my fellow lone parents, you'll know what I mean: the way folks tend to assume all single parents are miserable about their lot in life. To hear some talk, we all spend our nights sitting alone in our shabby hovels, crying into cheap beers, wishing we'd made different choices. If only we could either escape our children (who ruin our lives, don'tcha know?) or find that perfect someone who could *save*us* from our sorrow! There seems to be a misconception about the reality of going it solo with a kid... and while some may be genuinely unhappy with their lives, most of us are HAPPY! Take me, for example. I have a fabulous toddler. He adores me! No, seriously - I thought the unconditional love of a dog was the coolest thing ever, until I had McGee. Now I realize that this kid thinks I am Alpha and Omega, and all things made of sunshine and joy in his world. To him, I am a walking freakin' pony made of cupcakes. We live well, thanks to a family situation that enables me to be a stay-at-home while I finish grad school. I go out, I have hobbies, I get to workout a few days a week... he doesn't *limit* my life. He adds all sorts of experiences I never would have otherwise had! Then there's the marriage issue: some assume we're all sitting around waiting to be saved by marriage. Let me set the record straight on that one! While for a lot of us, finding the right partner is a goal, a priority even, we aren't laying in bed sobbing about our empty, spouse-less lives! In fact, seeing as we are responsible for the care of kids 24/7, we don't tend to have much time to sob in general, even if we were so inclined. For me, being in a happy, stable, lifetime relationship is certainly a goal... one of many in my life. But having a child doesn't make me want it more. In fact, it makes me more hesitant to hitch my wagon to that of another. In the past, it was only my happiness I had to think about... now? I have the overwhelming knowledge that anyone I bring into McGee's life, for better or for worse, I'm allowing to influence his future. Imagine my frustration when well-meaning people discover I am a single mother, and they give me that look... you know the one! The look of pity, the knowing look designed to tell me they *feel* my pain. They KNOW how unhappy I must be, all alone, desperate, miserable, encumbered by a screaming brat all the time... I'm happy, guys. My life is better than 99% of the world's. I'm never truly alone, because I am surrounded by people who love me. I live my life the way I want, working McGee into it where I can, and making arrangements for times I can't. Regardless of trials which I must face, or obstacles I must overcome, I am HAPPY. Save your look of pity for someone who needs it ;)